I wasn't one of those kids who was fascinated with death. Really I'm not all that keen on anything after the fact either. What I care about are the conversations we have about death before it comes and then the way we leave each other after.
Death was one of those topics, like politics and religion, that nice girls don't bring up-- but then I lost my Nonne and my college sweetheart within weeks of each other. This lead to some conversations with friends and family on how different our lives and deaths can be if we have closure and a good death vs living in denial and leaving people with a mess in the wake.
The differences are not just in our mourning but in how we live with the loss and the various interactions we have with the others involved. Not having the important conversations and being on the same page when someone is ill and dying can haunt us and tear apart those we love's relationships. It is a compounder of pain and an unloving legacy to leave.
I wrote the book My Last Wishes... A Journal Of Life, Love, Laughs, And A Few Final Notes (HarperCollins) in 2007. I've lost my Mother and some other people I cared about since-- so now I believe we need to get more into the nitty gritty of it and discuss how much control we have in the end and get more clear on what we want that to look like.
U. is my attempt to jumpstart the conversation and get people planning and discussing their deaths so they can then go out and live the rest of their lives in peace because they know they have done the right thing for themselves and their families. No matter what our wishes are having them clear is the way to honor our lives and those we cherish by leaving a true gift of love.
and when it’s your end
a very peaceful and